OH HAPPILY EVER AFTER.

→ May 2012 "I like drinking coffee alone and reading alone. I like riding the bus alone and walking home alone. It gives me time to think and set my mind free. I like eating alone and listening to music alone. But when I see a mother with her child, a girl with her lover, or a friend laughing with their best friend, I realize that even though I like being alone, I don’t fancy being lonely. The sky is beautiful, but the people are sad. I just need someone who won’t run away." — (via kalypso-atelophobia)
(Source: buddhacoffee, via hatepe0pl3)

→ May 2012

Keep breathing and believing, don’t let go, just hang on tighter, a little longer.

These really important exams are coming up (they’re almost the same as A-levels, I guess). They decide whether you graduate or not. For like half a year I’ve been screaming I don’t want to graduate and I’ll just fail ‘em, now everyone has persuaded me into just trying to graduate already. I still don’t want to, but I feel like I don’t really have a choice anymore. I guess I’m going to try my best.. One problem though, I never feel like I’ve tried my best, and lately I’ve been neglecting all my schoolwork, like all of it. It takes so much energy just to get myself to start revising. And when I finally manage to get myself together and just get on with it, it usually ends in me staring into nothingness and creating the scariest thoughts. I just CAN’T fail these exams, just can’t. I mean another year of high school.. I wouldn’t mind really, but it’s just, all the teachers are counting on me and my friends and ugh. I hate it.

→ Apr 2012

It’s not right, but it’s okay.

Yesterday I broke up with my boyfriend. I finally had the courage to do it. I just couldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t stand dragging another person down in my misery. Plus it was another thing that made me insecure, as if I don’t already have enough of insecurities. He took it okay, but pretty hard at the same time.. I hate breaking someone’s heart or making someone feel miserable. I just couldn’t be his girlfriend anymore. All I have been doing lately is avoiding him, that just wasn’t right. It even got to a point where everything he said or did seemed annoying or ignorant to me. The confidence I had being with him, completely vanished and took every love-related feeling with it. I’m not sorry I broke it off, I’m only sorry for hurting him..

Even though I hate hurting people, I always end up doing it anyways. Over and over and over.

→ Apr 2012
me at 7am: im too tired to get up
me at 12pm: im too tired to finish class
me at 7pm: im too tired to do homework
me from 12am to 4am: holy SHIT theres just so much to do ive never been more motivated to do anything in my entire life first i'll finish my homework then i'll contemplate the meaning of life then i'll write a letter to the president then i'll go save my town from evil then feed all the hungry and then fill the hole in the ozone layer and then
me at 7am: im too tired to get up